Much has happened over the past few weeks. That has allowed me to balance between the ups and downs fairly well. I have only dipped below an operable line once that I can recall and have only occasionally been so distracted by the upswings that it became difficult to concentrate on specific tasks.
I finally built an altar. Not only did I build an altar, but I converted my spare room into a bit of a meditation room. It now provides me a consistent space to relax and center. I also feel comfortable enough to draw and drum there. Truth be told, the drum is a often used meditation tool for me now; and this makes me very happy. I turned my old computer desk into my altar and moved the unused computer into storage space. I use an abalone shell and salt to create a safe place to burn incense and sage. It is a peaceful place. I need to acquire a few more items for the altar, such as a smudging feather or fan, and I am trying to decide on a wall hanging for above it. This will be a continuous project I'm sure.
I also attended a Sweat-lodge for the first time. On the Autumnal Equinox, I joined eight others in the use of this old medicine. Unfortunately, I was so trapped in how uncomfortable I was, both in the hunched over form and with the heat, that I think I missed out on some of the medicine the event normally can offer. I will try again, perhaps with a different person pouring, before I decide if it is a tool for me to continue using. I did have a few insights from the day that continue to give me positive lines of thought, so for those I am grateful.
Unfortunately the one downswing was over this past weekend, and I confined myself to my apartment the whole weekend. And did nothing. So I, sadly, missed the Seidr Ceremony for September, among other less important things that I had wanted to do over the weekend.
Today I attend to my "Life Activation". I still wonder how open I am to the process, but am hopeful none-the-less. I spent last night trying to open up my system a bit, spending most of the evening either meditating or bathing in vanilla and shea butter sea salt infused bath water (I smell tasty).
All in all I think things are going well and if I can just get into a habit to work both my heart and my body regularly, I think I'll start feeling even better...
